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Stay True

See the flowers wrestle with the mountain winds

Hold the blue in your eyes

Remind yourself, you now breathe

The past brought you here

As often as you forget the reminders

Stay true

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When you get really sick you really feel sorry. For being a burden. For causing pain. Sadness. Problems. Everything comes because of you, good and bad. But the bad is what it is all about. We all work our way around the bad. Try to be clean. Try to get by. But it’s the bad things you really feel sorry about. They are the never ending kinds of feelings you have in your life. They accompany you. Reflect you. Never-ending. And as you go through this life if your very, very lucky. You’ll find yourself on a mountain side. Sitting on a soft rock looking out into the field of wild flowers. A bee sits itself on your knee. Sunshine mixed with warm breeze to cool the African sun. And down in the valley green you can stare comfortably

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St Jude

Another conversation with no destination

Another battle never won

And each side is a loser

So who cares who fired the gun?

And I’m learning, so I’m leaving

And even though I’m grieving

I’m trying to find the meaning

Let loss reveal it

Let loss reveal it

St. Jude, the patron saint of the lost causes

St. Jude, we were lost before she started

St. Jude, we lay in bed as she whipped around us

St. Jude, maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos

And I was on the island and you were there too

But somehow through the storm I couldn’t get to you

St. Jude, somehow she knew

And she came to give her blessing while causing devastation

And I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, I just had to mention

Grabbing your attention

St. Jude, the patron saint of the lost causes

St. Jude, we were lost before she started

St. Jude, we lay in bed as she whipped around us

St. Jude, maybe I’ve always been more comfortable in chaos

St. Jude, St. Jude

And I’m learning, so I’m leaving

And even though I’m grieving

I’m trying to find the meaning

Let loss reveal it

Let loss reveal it

And I’m learning, so I’m leaving

And even though I’m grieving

I’m trying to find the meaning

Let loss reveal it

Let loss reveal

 

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Empty Room

I probably wouldn’t have ever been a good husband to a wife. My chest suffocates at the thought of having to be something to her that I’m not. I sit in a half emptied room and all these many years later I think of her and what happened of who I was with her, who I would have become if I stayed with her. There are so many kinds of depression. So many kinds of suicide. I’m terrible at bejng me. I hurt so much. It just carries on forward. Same outcome, same pain. Right now, she’s warm somewhere with a new born baby and not a thought of her past is with her truth. I sit and see the dust and crumbs that hid under my sofa all these years. I’m homeless. If I have any courage or usefulness I’ll take my own life. But even that is to end in disappointment. Even that.

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What I Was Made Of

My mother’s child will die without her
My mother’s child will die without Love
Swollen moments let loss hold regret
Memory stood for nothing
Just empty cache of collection
Resting inside deception
Slumber wakes me up stiff
Age caught me off guard
The disease that held my body
Furrowed my thought
That I’ve grown old and alone
Without Love and what I thought I had
It was as absent as my father’s phone call
As missing as my brother’s heart
As I lay there dying
Focus fettered my death
No sea and depth to sink me
No consciousness to deliver me
No hurt to repel
I cannot be forgiven
For feelings I’ve had
For you are still living
And I am dying
I feel no love
No melancholy of reminder
Just stiff age
Baited Inside lateness
The second half coming to a close
If there was fire
I would be sore
Too sore to move
Too tired to try
I’ll envelop myself in rest
If I deserve
If I’ve learned
And if not
Please erase
This miserable waste
Of life I can’t trace
No more
No less
No, no one can confess
I was worth Love
It was not what I was made of
Not I
Not ever
End my life forever

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awash  əˈwɒʃ/

 

מוצף         充斥著      topí

   keerisesse        на нивоу воде         inundado  

 överspolad       kafi

überspült                ξενερισμένος         terendam air

  充斥著       inondato      あふれて

수면과 거의 같은 높이로

užtvindytas       سرگردان بر روی امواج دریا      dibanjiri

затопленный       จมอยู่ใต้น้ำ

بھرمار          nổi trên mặt nước

fôr        אַוואַש

i lagur    متقاذف

 ভাসা

 

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May 30, 2017 · 10:01 PM