Short Stories (97~2000)


When I left home I was fragile, vulnerable and wounded.  With a world of experiences dealing in life and death, everything had an urgency about it. In my early 20’s I looked oh so very young and sweet, but I had a huge appetite for mischief. A suburban white boy that had never been on a train, airplane or seen the ocean and was far too shy to even ask a stranger for the time of day. I had never seen the real world, only real life. The kind that keeps you chained to the ground.

I used to feel my back was against the wall. Twenty years on. I would say I was stricken and on the floor, unable to get up. I felt as if I had been stripped of everything. Dignity, Identity, Home. I was depressed, suicidal with an eating disorder, and I was an alcoholic that kept waking up to realise all I was doing was blacking out. Over and over. It’s a surprise I remember these stories. I barely do. So I’ve written down some words to remind myself of what these years brought me before I forget. I was so thirsty for a life not yet lived. I escaped a life that was ready to release me. I’m very lucky to be here.

The Seedy Con Man (a true professional)
Drugged And Mugged (my first hour in Cairo)
Cairo stop and go (taxi to the pyramids)
The Taxi Boys (hotel touts with wooden tickets)
Istanbul Policemen Gangsters
Pot and Ramadan (Red Sea, Blue Hole)
Fez Boy (Rape starts young)
Amsterdam Cigarette Man (a psychic)
Israeli Boys (snooker and dirty condoms)
Cambodian/Vietnamese Soldier
Cambodian Dope Death Bag
Tom The Thai Boxer (canine masturbation)
Millennium Thai Islands
Peter THE German boss (ashhhhole)
Aussie Ferrel Gem Collecter
English Pohmmies and Danish Models
A Threesome On Easter Day (and one condom)
The Wave Goodbye (a TukTuk farewell)
Chinese Peasants Take Dick Picks (with my camera)
The Israeli Calls His Father For Money (Lamai Island, Hong Kong)
His Jordanian Friend The DJ (Hong Kong Coke)
Lunch On A Casket (Baggio)
Filipino Tranny Zombies Take Over
Lucy The Weekend Pro
A Cross-Country Motorbike Ride In Cambodia
Spooning A Welshman To Stay Alive
10 AM Blowjobs
A Joint At The Border (which border?)
Paddington Station Hustlers (are you Irish?)
Queen’s Cabin (Bruce)
Big Black Men With Big Black Scissors
The Walthamstow Pensioners (20 quid an hour mate)
Wimbledon Astrology
Mel Thinks Your A Narc (north London)
The Islington Council Crew (football hooligans & cups of tea)
Answer My Phone In A Cockney Accent (…and tell the bitch wife I’m NOT here)
Oh Arsenal! (how I came to love my football club)
Bondi Personal Power
Kings Cross Sydney Porno
Jerusalem Old City Santa Claus (Babylon)
Where’s Andy? (The Red Head Left Behind In The Desert)
My Own Presidential Parade (West Bank to Egypt)
Hash Bar In Little Algeria
Jo & Miriam (Tiger Leaping Gorge)
This Tibetan Town (is on fire)
Picking And Packing (shoplifting my work)
The F-1 Racer’s Wife (and her big black dildo)
Boracay Boy girl (hot hot hot)
Moroccan Kernel In the Desert (I’m on the way to the station)
The World Cup In Tangier (Morocco lost)
Tottenham Court Road (underground drugs and guns)
Muhammad Ali’s Autograph In My Back Pocket
Singapore Dollar Hotels
Delph Psychedelics
Sleeping On The Streets (Hyde Park)
Jungle Bus Stops
Opium And A Briefcase of Money
At Sea With A Heroin Addict Detoxing (in a typhoon)
Unconscious In A London Clinic
My Mate Peter Ryan
Three Stolen Watches (A Canadian, a Swede and an Aussie)
Jimmy Page Meets William Burroughs In Tangiers
Earls Court Illegals And Me Off To Work At 5am
The Gays Of Sydney
The Girl That Said I was Disarming

P.S. I really am amused with myself when I look back and I’m reminded of what nonsense that kid managed to get himself into. These people I came across never had a clue who I was, or where I came from. Perfect anonymity. I like to think of travel as trespassing involving a degree of risk and invasiveness. Exploring without the safe and tidy net of domestic life. With curiosity and a sense of wonderment I became independent, and free to find out what’s around the corner. I like to think of what I did as trespassing, but for once I realised I belonged anywhere. Life is a wager.


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